5 Reasons We Survived The Distance
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I remember thinking to myself the night before I had to leave to not get my hopes up. To just say my goodbyes, walk away, and forget about him. He lives over 2,000 miles away from you there is no way this could possibly go anywhere.
Staying up til 5am outside by the pool because neither of us wanted to leave. I reluctantly said I had to go because my friend and I had to leave in two hours. It was the first time I had honestly thought about missing my flight just to have a couple more days, but instead he walked me to my room gave me a kiss and we said our last goodbye.
The next morning Sarah and I hopped on our flight to Costa Rica. I was bummed and all I could think about was the last four nights and how perfect it all was and that I should just be thankful for how well that part of the trip went.
To my surprise even after I left he continued to message me and then those messages turned into phone calls. This went on for awhile when he finally said he wanted to fly to see me in Pittsburgh. Even when he landed and we got back to my house I still couldn’t believe he was standing in front of me.
From that point on he continued to fly to see me, and when I could I would fly to him. We are very lucky that we are able to see each other as often as we do. We both put in a lot of effort to make our relationship work.
The past year has been an absolute whirlwind making plans on how we can close the distance, and just make things a little easier. I recently switched jobs to be a traveling med tech in order to get a little closer. While he continues to fly to where ever I am every time he’s off.
So while long distance is never easy here are 5 tips I have learned along the way to make it a little better.
Communicate– The lines of communication must always be open and honestly this is for any relationship. You have to be able to talk to your partner about anything no matter how scared you are of the topic. If something gets brought up you have to talk about it, you have to listen and truly understand what the other person is trying to get across to you. At the end of the day you should be able to talk about anything and if you can’t you have to learn to work it out so you can feel comfortable enough to say what you need to. Try to save important conversations for when you are together. It is so much easier to read a person when they are in front of you.
Cherish the time you have together– Make the most of every minute you have together. Talk, Laugh, Spend time with friends, but don’t take anything for granted. Also, be able to go with the flow. So many random things can happen that can ruin plans. So don’t worry if things change last minute. All that matters is that you are together.
Trust– Another important that must be there is trust. This is pretty self explanatory, and extremely important in every kind of relationship. If you can not trust the person you are with then you will drive yourself crazy and the relationship with fall apart. Bonus~ Things that happened to you in the past could make trusting you’re new partner difficult. You have to be able to let the past go if you want the future to work out. Not everyone is the same just because one person did something to you in the past does not mean the one in your present/future will do the same. It’s not fair to the person you are with if you can’t give them the benefit of the doubt that they will be better.
Pay Attention– One thing I have found that I feel has worked for us is paying attention to each others needs. Its inevitable that some days are worse than others. When one of us is having a rough time with being apart even just having a bad day. We go out of our way to either talk on the phone or Facetime. While sometimes our schedules can make this difficult even just a quick phone call to hear their voice seems to make things a little better. A little bit of extra effort goes a long way.
Make Them Feel Appreciated– I think another reason we have done so well is we always tell each other how much we appreciate the other. Whether it is thanking him for continuously flying to see me or making time to talk, or him thanking me for moving or just staying up a little later just to have time to talk about the day and say goodnight. Telling each other that we are grateful for the others efforts make you feel like your efforts are worth it.
You are in this together– While most of the time things are great just like every relationship you have your ups and down. Things pop up that make things more difficult. Work schedules change, flight prices go up, trying to figure out where we are going to end up, and how we are going to make it happen. The list goes on, but through it all we both know we have the same ending goal and that it is us against the problem, and we are in it together to figure it out the solution.
I believe these 5 reasons have played such a huge role in us being successful, and making our relationship work. Though there are many more things that go into have a good relationship. These are I believe are the most important and will set us up to have a successful marriage. We are so excited for the future together and on Aug 9, 2019 we will get to say we survived the distance!!
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